On the first day we were in Africa we felt like we had found our child. I can't really explain it but we both felt like that. We were taken hours out of the city with reps from our attorneys office and met a probation officer ( like a social worker or CPS in the US) because she had 1 orphanage and 2 children in foster care for us to visit. I wont go into all of the details but we first went to the orphanage and left with very heavy hearts, it was the first orphanage I had ever been in. We then went to the foster homes. The little girl we immediately connected with was at the first one. We were assured all of these children were ready to be adopted. We walked almost a half mile off a dirt road thru corn, goats,and cows just to get to her. We spent time with her, took pictures with her, and then conveyed our feelings to the PO, attorney, and attorney assistant that was with us. Things seemed to be progressing for us to spend more time with her.
then. everything. changed.
Weird emotions started flying ( not by us) , we had to hand her back and leave. We were originally told we would know something in 2 weeks, a couple of days later everything seemed fine. We visited the other orphanages and then had to come home. VERY heavy hearted. Once again things seemed to turn our way. At one point it was a very real expectation to have her home by Thanksgiving or Christmas Then (yep you guessed it) they turned the other way. We were then told to wait 3 months. This. is . not. making. sense. We continued to fight and prayed hard. We then decided to take advantage of some help that had been offered to us as this was beginning to become more and more yucky feeling. We did and sure enough the situation is just not going to be. To say we are/were heartbroken is an understatement BUT we have a peace. We DO NOT under any circumstance want to be a part of anything that is not kosher.
So we have turned the little girl over to the Lord and are waiting on an email or call for the child God has in store for our family. Are we disappointed? Yes. Are we frustrated? Yes. Do we KNOW we are doing the right thing? Yes.
And so we wait and wait some more. We should be getting good at this by now. We are ok. We know that there is a reason and we fully trust the Lord. When we can't see His plan we are trusting in His hand.